4AM Forever
by pandaxlover
Summary: If you ask Butch what he regrets most in this world he'd probably tell you not saying I Love You before it was too late.


**A/N:** So this little one shot was inspired by the song 4AM Forever by lostprophets, I suggest you take a listen to it and let me know what you think after.

**DISCLAIMER: **I do not own PPG

* * *

_Yesterday, I lost my closest friend,_  
_Yesterday, I wanted time to end..._

I clung to her as if my life depended on it. I can't, I won't let her go. I feel a pair of hands on my shoulders, trying to pull me away "NO! Let me go!" I choke out

"Butch, you have to let go, the Professor needs to get her ready for the funeral" Boomer tells me between sniffles

"NO! She's not dead! All she needs is some Chemical X in her system, she'll be good as new" I try to reason. No, Buttercup can't be gone, she needs to know.

"Butch, it's no use, there's nothing we can do, she's gone!" Blossom chokes out as she hugs me from behind while caressing Buttercup's dull, black hair.

Bubbles knelt down on the opposite side of her, eyes red and puffy, brand new tears making their way down. She took my hand "Butch, let them fall. It won't make you weak"

I stare at Bubbles, I have never in my life cried, I look at Buttercup's peaceful face. She almost looks like she's just sleeping away, I caress her cheek. "What am I going to do without my Sprinkles?" I ask her in a whisper, hoping she'll wake up and punch me for being a sissy in front of my brothers and her sisters. But she doesn't, I kiss her forehead and much to my brother's surprise, a single tear slid, down from my forest green eyes, followed by another one, and another one until soon a steady stream of tears flows down, releasing the sadness and sorrow that has been tormenting me.

_Buttercup brought her finger to her chin, in deep thought. A little smile forming on her lips as she look me straight in the eye "Fruit Loops"_

_I let out a laugh "Really? That's the best you can come up with? What the hell kind of a nickname is Fruit Loops?!" I asked incredulously _

_"It's unique!" She countered "It suits you, you're weird and bizarre, like your new nickname, Fruit Loops" she grinned_

_Leave it to her to come up with some crazy shit. I laugh "Ok, Sprinkles"_

_Buttercup frowns "Sprinkles?"_

_It was my turn to grin "You're the extra spice in my life that makes all the difference" I say nonchalantly, I swear I can see a hint of red on her cheeks._

_She rolls her eyes "Whatever, Fruit Loops"_

_I mimic her, rolling my own eyes back at her "Fine, Sprinkles"_

_We both stare at each other for a while before busting out laughing. Yes. This corroborates it, I'm falling for this girl. I need to wait for the perfect opportunity to tell her how I feel._

My inconsolable sobs are all you can hear throughout the living room. No one dares to utter a word, how can they? There's absolutely no words to make this pain go away. She was gone, I look around the room to see Bubbles currently crying in Boomer's arms. Blossom was standing near the window, her gaze distant. Brick trying his hardest to be strong for her, gently rubbing her arms.

I shake my head as yet another sob escapes my lips. I get up from the couch and make my way upstairs to her room. Completely ignoring my brother's questioning.

As soon as I enter her room I am engulfed in her scent, I shut the door and lay down on her bed. If I close my eyes, I can pretend she's here with me.

_"So, I'm the first guy you let in your room? That can't be true!" I say as I look around her room, dark green walls that I approved of, filled with posters from her favorite bands._

_I quickly dodge a pillow thrown my way "You know damn well it is!" she says irritated as she flops down on her bed_

_I walk over to her and sit next to her as I pull her in for a hug. "You know I'm joking, Sprinkles"_

_She giggled! Buttercup giggled as I nuzzled my face into her neck, breathing in her intoxicating scent. I could really get used to it._

_"Buttercup..." I mumbled softly, my lips grazing her neck as I spoke._

_"Hmm?"_

_Her hands started playing with my hair. Screw it! I'm telling her. What's the worst that could happen? I love her. It's just as simple as that._

_"I..." but my lips wouldn't let those three simple words out_

_She took my head in her hands and brought me to look her in the eye "You what?" She asked, curiousity painted on her features._

_I took her hands in mine "I..." Love you, say it you sissy! But I don't, instead finishing with "...couldn't ask for a better best friend" regretting my words as soon as they left my lips._

_She frowned but quickly replaced it with a smile "Thanks, Butch, you're my best friend too"_

I was such a fucking coward. What was I afraid of? Rejection? Now I had to live knowing she never knew my real feelings for her. Now it was too late. I hugged her pillow as I let the tears fall once again. "I love you, Sprinkles" I say between sobs as I let fatigue consume me, closing my eyes.

_Fucking 3:40 in the morning! Seriously? These motherfucking monsters don't sleep? "On my way" I grumble as I throw the nice warm and toasty covers of me. "You owe me big time, babe" I mumble before I hang up and fly out the window._

_I can clearly make out the emerald streak going crazy around something. 'Damn it, Buttercup's already at it'. I pick up the pace and stop in front of the Godzilla looking monster that Buttercup is already trying to take down, but with no avail._

_"Help is here!" I yell out to her_

_I see her stop mid air and fly towards me "Took you long enough! This guy's not going down easy, Fruit Loops"_

_I roll my eyes, such a crazy nickname, but I love it all the same "You notice any weaknesses yet?" I ask her_

_She shakes her head then smirks, damn! I love this girl. I really need to come clean to her "Let's find one" she said excitedly_

_I grin and in a blink of an eye, she's punching at the grotesque monster yet again. I analyze the situation, her punches aren't doing shit to it._

_I bring my hands to my mouth in a makeshift megaphone "Sprinkles! That's one thick motherfucker, he's not even fazed by your hits"_

_Just as she stops to, no doubt, retort that I ain't doing shit to help, she's swung violently to the ground, a loud boom followed._

_I flinch and quickly make my way around to examine the damage. Just as I reach her, she's climbing out of the small crater she made by the force, giving me the evil eye "You asshole! You're not helping!"_

_"I'm just saying, we need to approach this from a different angle" I tell her as I offer my hand to help her stand_

_She angrily slaps my hand away "I got it, we go with Plan Z"_

_I frown at her and shake my head "No Buttercup, his fucking bones are probably too dense! Look at it! Let's just call the others" I offer as I pull out my cell phone_

_"I've already called you for help! I'm the toughest fighter! I'm showing this asshole who's boss!" She says as she takes of, Plan Z in her mind_

_"BUTTERCUP STOP! DON'T!" I fly after her, trying to stop her but she's too fast, she's always been the fastest out of the both of us._

_I watch in horror as she laser beams the area where she then disappears into. I hold my breath as I wait for her beams to appear on the opposite side of it. But seconds feel like hours, I fly up to where she disappeared and quickly go in. I see her laying motionless in the monster's entrails, a bone sticking out of her chest._

I jolt up, covered in sweat. It was my fault, she's dead because of me. If I would've gone after her into that monster... she'd still be alive. I took too long to react, I knew that plan wouldn't work and I still let her go through with it.

I hear a knock on the door "Butch? Are you awake?" It's the Professor.

I rub my face letting out a sigh "Yeah" I squeak out

The Professor takes a seat next to me "I'm sorry" I whisper

He looks confused "For what?"

"I didn't stop her, it's my fault she's gone"

The Professor laid a hand on my shoulder "Butch, it's not your fault. It was a freak accident" he stopped as he tried to recompose himself, trying to stay strong for all of us, he let's out a small laugh "Buttercup left doing what she loved, she went down fighting"

I gasp, those had been along the lines of her last words, I notice him looking around her room.

"It's crazy how you can feel her presence in her room" he patted my back "Butch, you can stay here as long as you need"

I let the tears fall once again "Thanks" I choke out. He gives me a smile, that reminds me so much of her smile, before he gets up and walks out, leaving me alone in her room.

_"Listen, she says she won't stop until you and her are an item" words dropped from her mouth as if they were venom_

_I look at Buttercup as she runs her fingers through her long, soft hair, a habit I've noticed she does when she's annoyed _

_"Really?" I smirk as she looks at me trying to hide her annoyance "Everybody wants a piece of Butch"_

_She rolls her eyes "Oh puh-lease! Give me a break!"_

_I grab her by the waist and pull her down to the ground, sitting her between my legs "Well, you can tell her I'm taken, this is one piece of fine ass she won't get her hands on" I whisper in her ear _

_She let's out a laugh, and turns her head slightly up "Oh and who shall I tell her you're with then?" She asks with a big smile on her face _

_I kiss her forehead "You" I wink at her and she goes red as a tomato. "Here she comes!" I tell her as we see Princess walking, in a way too exaggerated, towards us._

_As she gets closer to us I can see the disgusted look on her face as she gives a red Buttercup the evil eye "Can I help you?" I ask her with a smirk_

_Her expression suddenly changes as she looks at me, batting those fake eyelashes at me "Butchie!" I cringe at her whiny voice "I'm going to give you the honor of taking me out on a date"_

_I bust out laughing at her words._

_"What's so funny?!" She asked in a higher pitch if possible _

_I tighten my hold on Buttercup as I try to control my giggles "Um, Princess, as tempting as that sounds I'm gonna have to say no"_

_Princess looks incredulous "Why?!"_

_I kiss Buttercup's head for good measure "I'm taken" _

_Princess throws a tantrum as she leaves stomping her feet, grumbling about how the Powerpuff Girls always get what they want and how she'll get her revenge, blah, blah, blah._

_I shake my head in disbelief, ok focus Butch, now is the perfect time to tell Buttercup you love her. "Sprinkles... I..." before I could finish she stops me_

_"Can it, Butch! This is the first and last time you use me as a girl repellent!" She says angrily as she gets up and starts walking away_

_I quickly get up and grab her arm "Buttercup! Wait! I..."_

_She stops me again "What?! You what?" She asks angrily_

_"I'm sorry, I didn't take your feelings into consideration" I try "It's just that I..."_

_She just won't let me tell her "Just stop!" She snatches her arm away as she angrily stomps away._

_Well shit, you managed to fuck everything up, Butch, nice going. She thinks you're pretending, any confession of love you give her now will probably be null. "Damn it Buttercup, I love you!" I whisper, as my words get carried away by the wind._

What perfect weather, for the worst day of my life. I am now sitting on her grave, rain droplets running through my face, mixing in with my tears. I run my fingers through her name inscribed on the headstone _'Buttercup Utonium, beloved daughter and sister' _I can't help but let out a small laugh, if it were up to her she would've added _'and the best damn fighter in the world' _

I feel someone stand behind me "Son? Let's go, you'll catch pneumonia"

I shake my head "I need to stay" I say quietly

The Professor offers me his umbrella, I shake my head "I'm ok, I need to stay" I repeat

He gives me a comforting smile and nods "Her room is still at your disposal" he tells me before he walks away.

I sigh as I turn to face her grave again "Damn it Buttercup! You're such a bitch! Putting me through all this shit! You fucking bitch!" I say angrily as I loosen my tie and take it off, I throw it at the headstone "Yes! I called you a bitch, what are you gonna do about it? Huh?"

But only the sound of the rain splattering on the dirt can be heard, I let out a loud sob as I sink to my knees, not caring for the damp mud that dirtied my slacks. "I love you!" I laugh, it's fucking pointless. I keep telling her I love you, but she'll never know.

"Sprinkles, I'm sorry" I hug her headstone, tears falling "You're not a bitch! You're the most beautiful girl I've ever met, inside and out. You are the love of my life. I just never knew you were not invincible" I sob "If I had known... I would've told you, you would've known"

I take a fistful of dirt and cling to it for dear life "I let you slip away, you'll never know... I love you"

_There she is! She's making her way into the kitchen, now's my chance, I need to apologize to her. Stop her from being mad at me. I block her from going further and grab her arm, pulling her to walk with me_

_"Fruit Loops? What the hell? I want a cookie!"_

_I stop and turn to face her "You called me Fruit Loops!" _

_She rolls her eyes "Thanks for pointing out the obvious"_

_"You're not mad at me anymore?" I ask her suspiciously _

_She sighed as she looked to see her sisters and my brothers giving us looks, she motions me to follow her up to her room "Come on, we don't need an audience!" She barks as she floats upstairs _

_I shrug at them "Tough luck, bitches!" I joke and follow her_

_When we're inside her room, she slams the door shut and pushes me violently on her bed._

_"Damn Sprinkles! If you wanted some you could've just told me" She smacks me upside the head _

_"Ow!" Dumbass! Don't make jokes now!_

_She floats above me "Listen here, Butch! I'm your best friend! I don't and won't appreciate you using me! You need to respect me if you want me to respect you!"_

_That's the thing! I respected the hell out of her! "Buttercup, I do! I respect the hell out of you" I tell her "You're my best friend"_

_I can see the hurt on her features she tries to hide with a frown "Well, treat me like one then!"_

_How can I? When I love you? Which reminds me, I need to tell her, it's now or never... whenever... I mean "Listen Sprinkles, I need to tell you something crucial"_

_She floats down and sits next to me "All right! Make it quick! We're gonna go out to eat"_

_I sigh as I sit up to face her "I wanted to tell you this last time, it's just... you wouldn't let me! You got all pissed off at me"_

_"Well? Who's fucking fault was that?"_

_I shush her "Let me finish!" I take her hands in mine "Buttercup, you're one of the most amazing people on this planet, you get me. I love hanging out with you" I stop, this is it, I'm telling her "Buttercup, you make me happy"_

_She blushes as I caress her warm, tinted cheek, I pull her close to me, my forehead resting against hers "I notice every little detail about you now. I know you bite your lower lip when you're in deep thought" I caress her lip, she shivers under my touch "how you run your fingers along your hair when you're annoyed or nervous" _

_I'm inching closer to her lips, but I can't kiss her, not before I tell her, and I want to kiss her so bad, so I need to tell her now! "Yes, you're my best friend, Buttercup, honestly, you're more than that now... Buttercup I lo..."_

_But I never finish, as we both jolt away when her door swings open. "Whoopsie! Sorry to interrupt, but food's here, we decided to eat in instead"_

_"Bubbles! What the fuck, bitch! I've told you a million times to fucking knock before opening my door!" She was pissed, she was flustered, she looked a mess._

_Damn it, Bubbles! When the hell will I be able to tell her how I feel?! I groan in frustration, thanks a lot Bubbles, for fucking ruining the moment_

_"Sorry!" Bubbles says in a singing voice as she makes her way downstairs._

_"Um, let's go eat, before she comes back in here..." Buttercup offers, a blush clearly still on her cheeks_

_My cheeks matching her own at being caught by stupid Bubbles, I nod "But, we need to finish this chat" I tell her_

_She walks closer to me, resting her hands on my shoulder, she smiles at me and nods, she then does something completely unexpected and gives me a peck on the cheek, before rushing down._

_My hand went up to the cheek her lips had just kissed, I smiled like an idiot. I wonder if her lips would feel just as silky soft on my lips as they did on my cheek. I shook my head and followed her downstairs, she needed to know, soon._

The tears burst forth like water from a dam, spilling down my face. That was the last pleasant interaction I had with her, the last one being her tragic end. I would never be able to feel her lips on mine, I would never be able to tell her that I love her face to face. I would never be able to get a reaction from those words that are now haunting my very soul.

"Goodbye... you'll never know..."


End file.
